Six, the number which can turn into Nine if yo look at it wrongly.

For some reason (of which I believe is mass brainwashing), I immediately thought of the number 666 when I was thinking about what to write regarding the number 6. Following this string of thought, I Googled Wikipedia for any interesting facts about the number 666, so that I can share them here and make myself look smart. Interestingly enough, Wikipedia gave me this: (click pic for bigger view)

Wikipedia, Information for Dummies!

Now that I realised I'm an idiot, I took a calculator and made it a mission for me to find interesting facts about the number by myself. After 4 hours, I found out that 666 is the sum of the first 36 numbers (1+2+3+...+34+35+36 = 666)! It took me that long to get my morale back up! I truly am a genius! :'D And then I opened up Wikipedia again.

I still am.. an idiot..

...

I'll stick to English. bye bye Maths.

Today, I had a semi-surprise test with Dr. C, who is teaching me Pragmatics, and I wrote a simple 3-page-essay about Conversational and Conventional Implicatures.

In Conversational implicature, we study how a person generates implied meaning through the control of four maxims, which are;

Maxim of Quality (How truthful you are)

Maxim of Quantity (The amount of words spoken, whether it is too little or excessive)

Maxim of Relation (How relevant you are)

Maxim of Manner (Level of obscurity)

Now, before my teachings start to get boring, let me teach you how you can score a girl/guy who studies English. Firstly, you go up to that girl. Now, with a face of pure calmness and coolness, say, "Hey girl, I hate to tell you this, but you look awful." By now, the girl would definitely be giving you a face like this:

You see this cuppa coffee? You want a taste of it you bi---??

Before you get splashed, keep your cool and say, "But girl, what i said to you, I'm merely violating the Maxim of Quality. If you know what I mean." 

Congratulations. You now have a girlfriend.

Peace Out.

P/s: If you still get splashed by that coffee, it would mean she doesn't know that violating the maxim of quality means to be untruthful. Now, your job is to show her this blog and ask her to follow to become a better linguist. and to get me an A+. *giggle*

Five

Let's start with a story.



A 55 year old man who was born on May 5, has been married 5 years, has 5 children, makes $55,555.55 a year, who's lucky number is 5 receives a phone call from a friend.
The friend informs the man that a horse named Lucky 5 will be running in the fifth race at the local track that evening.

Excitedly, the man withdraws 5,555.00 cash from his bank account, goes to the races and bets on Lucky 5.

Sure enough the horse comes in fifth.

- by Jokes4U.


What comes to mind when you see the number five? By now, please raise your hand in the air and answer like the kid you want to be when you are watching Dora the Explorer.

Dora, the perfect example of a case of child neglect.

Now, let's imagine you actually answered my question. these would be some answers I came up with, but since I want to cultivate a 2-way communication relationship with you people, please comment on this post with your answer if you have any intention of showing off. I would. Haha. Now, the answers I anticipated:

We have 5 fingers! (OK, not bad.)

We have 5 toes! (That's a ripoff off the last answer. next!)

We have 5 senses! (True. But all these 'we have's are getting kinda boring)

There are 5 basic elements! (Fire, Water, Earth, Wind, and... what? I really don't know. Need to watch Captain Planet again.)

A starfish has 5 legs! (Now let's think about this. Are those legs... or hands?)

Muslims pray 5 times daily! (May you be blessed.)

All these answers are good, but let's get back to reality. If you ever think about the number 5, you must have thought, for even a little bit, about the 'awesomest' (not a word) thing of all.

Yes, the Power Rangers.

By now you would most probably be singing, "Go go Power Rangers~ "

For me, and most people from my time, the most important time of the week is when we are sitting in front of the TV, watching Power Rangers as our mom/grandma feeds us with fluffy white rice and fried eggs. That, and also "Kelab Disney Malaysia".

Now that I think about it, it seems childhood is such an awesome time frame. And I would give anything to be a kid again, right about now.;[w[ix'[;0ik9kk9e9j[9;pxejjjjjjjjjjjjeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeh2biooooxc hegegegegegegegegegegb (this is me transforming into a child)

There's a saying.

"I want to grow up and be a man, without losing the boy inside me." -anonymous.

This is one of my best held principles in life, and it's safe to say that nobody can take the boy out of me. Why? Coz being a boy is awesome. If you are a woman, I'm sure the feeling of being a lil' girl is awesome too. So cheers to our childhood. And cheers to the number five, for no reason at all.


"Life is to have fun, or die trying."
-F2Farris, 2010.

Peace out.

After Single, Double, and Triple, What's Next?

As a linguist, it is one of my favourite things to giggle silently at a person who makes mistakes when pronouncing an English word. I assure you that this gesture is purely innocent, and I never really wanted to make fun of you people.

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA~!!!!!!!!!

*gasping for air* Now that was a good laugh. 

Now, let's analyse the first paragraph (I am fully aware that as of now, this blog is all about sentence analyzing and meaningless mumbles). In the first sentence I said that giggling to other's mistakes is one of my favourite things to do, besides cutting grass. Then, in the next sentence i go on and say that I never meant any harm in doing it. This type of sentence transition is one my kampung people would call 'Suh-too-peed', which is defined as an excess of 'dumbcells' in the brain. Why? Well, the first sentence clearly contradicts the second! How can I say that I don't actually want to make fun of you guys when I continue doing it? 

So, what point am I proving here? I know some of you are currently thinking, "What in heavens is this dude talking about? He clearly has no idea what to write in this blog and rambles on and on about worthless stuff in an attempt to make this lame post longer and generate an A+ for his subject. BOO~! BOO~!"

Well, in my defence, I am simply writing without any idea of what to write. And that... that... actually makes what you thought as the truth.... Hmm... *cries*

Farris Azere, officially Emo. And plus now i'm a girl.

While being an emo kid is totally awesome, it is actually very usual to hear people speak incoherently by contradicting themselves, like the first paragraph. If you don't believe me, think. When was the last time you heard someone pronounce these words:

"Aku bukannya nak ngumpat ke apa, tapi..."

or;

"Bukan nak cakap apa la kan, tapi..."

or better yet;

"Aku tak tahu sangat la, tapi..."

See? many people contradict themselves everyday. Plus, if one truly study the elements of these sentences, it can be inferred that these people are shameful scaredy-cats who aren't courageous enough to actually speak what's on their mind, as they say these contradictory words to make themselves look innocent and ultimately keep themselves safe, regardless of what they say. If you want to say something, be precise and don't be afraid. Take responsibility for what you say. If you can't do that, come join me and become emo. *slices hand* 

Peace out.

P/s: If you still don't know what comes after triple, it's "Quadruple", which means '4 times'. Now go Google the following terms of '5 times' and '6 times', ask some friends about it and make yourself look smart. You might even score a girlfriend/boyfriend/emofriend. :DD toodles~ 

Sometimes, less is more

From the title it would be evident that this is going to be a lazy, short post, with some lazy comments about some very lazy-sounding stuff. And you are correct. Today is one very busy day of which I learnt about... Well, nothing, actually.

There's just so much the mind can't take.

Let's talk about doing the best for something. How do we define "doing our best"? This is a redundant question to me, since i believe there is no way of measuring how a person is doing his or her best. 

With that in mind, let's do our best to ponder on it while I continue being the lazy bum I actually am. ^^

A Second Post needs to Dwell on Duality

Some people believe that the Illuminati and Freemasons have a thing for duality and the notion of a double personality. It is said that they brainwash poor people in the ranks of artists to create human zombies that have two personality of which can interchange at the handler's will. This is all too scary to write so I will stop now because I don't want to have nightmares.

Oh no... Please no...

Now, while my inner self tries to survive against a faceless monster who can kill me by just looking at me, let's go through some better aspects of duality that can actually contribute to my merits as a student. this duality involves the usage of English, whereas the typical human being can opt to use British English or American English. While we are free to choose between the two, us Malaysians are usually more proficient with British English, since that is the Received Language here, and because the Brits gave birth to our syllabus. 

Well, i'm here to tell you that our perceived affiliation to the British English is merely a myth since most of us wouldn't really know the difference between the American and British English, and this also includes me. I wouldn't really know all the difference between the two, and if I did I wouldn't Google the relevant necessary info for this post just now. You DID NOT read that Google part. 

So let's get started! :D

What is the difference between 'practice' and 'practise'? Now, 'practice' is a noun, while 'practise' is a verb, and both comply with the British English standards. The same could also be said for 'advise' and 'advice'... And now i just realised this has nothing to do with the differences between American and British English. 

I am.. a failure...

Still, if you paid attention, I wrote 'realise' up there, not 'realize'. Which do you think is British, and which is American? Well, one of the easiest ways to differ the two is through the usage of either 's' or 'z'. British uses 's', like organisation, realise, etc. while Americans use 'z', such as organization, realize, etc. 

Now, if you were attentive enough you can also see that there is a pattern here in writing better English. 

Firstly, if you ever get confused about the spelling of a word, whether it uses a 'c' or an 's', understand that the difference is not between American and british, but the difference is it being a noun or a verb. the one using 'c' is a noun (advice, practice), and the 's' is a verb (advise, practise), and both are British.

Example:

1. His advice was fantastic. (noun)

2. He advises me to put on makeup. (verb)

Secondly, if the confusion revolves around the use of either 's' or 'z', the difference is whether it is Brit or American, where 's' is used for British and 'z' for Americans.

With these two knowledge of linguistic duality in mind, i hope that every reader can be a better communicator and writer. if not, you can always kill yourself because i won't be the one doing it for you, but this has nothing to do with the post, and it brings no direct relation to any type of rational thinking of humans from all ages, and i'm not writing this to simply make the post look longerrrrrrrrr yayyyyyyy~~~

Peace out~ and please refrain yourselves from being brainwashed by the media.

Sagacity is Such a Big Word and I Hate It

Assalamualaikum and a very good morning, afternoon, evening or night, since I cannot control when you readers read this post, and if I can, it would definitely be nighttime since I lurk in the dark and can easily stalk you from behind while you read and see if you smile or laugh at this little gesture that is too shameful to even be called a joke... and kill you if you don't. :)

Now, what can you imply from the above paragraph? Is it a joke? Am I being serious? Did you turn around to see if I was there? Was I there? *Dracula laugh*

Are you scared, little giirrrlllll...??

Anyway, some people may argue, saying that, "Dude, of course there is no way of knowing if you were fooling around or being serious, because, like, there are some real supernatural beings in this world that actually stalks people who read blogs from behind." 

Well, if you are that person, you are wrong. There are actually ways to understand and generate meaning from a sentence, via understanding of the implied meaning of an utterance in a certain context. The study of this theory is called 'Pragmatics'. Pragmatics asks the question of, "What do you mean by ___?", since one word or sentence can have multiple meanings based on the context surrounding a particular situation.

For example, let's say the President of the Student Representative Council tells me that I have to go and attend a one-month programme during the holidays, and I say;

"Great, that's exactly what I needed!" 

If you interpret my response semantically, you can infer that I am genuinely happy to get the job. However, humans rarely say what they mean, so you would need to analyze my words pragmatically, and read between the lines to understand my intended meaning, that I was actually being sarcastic because I love my holidays very much. I really do. Oh, and cupcakes. I love those too. 

In any case, I am a proud student from the Academy of Language Studies, studying English for Professional Communications, and I linguistic elements such as Pragmatics and Semantics, of which can only be described as the tip of the iceberg. This blog is made as part of a requirement for one of my subjects, and I will write, blabber and mumble about anything that crosses my mind on a daily basis so that I can get an A+ and make my parents proud... or at least my pet hamster.

Being a student of 'The Received Language', I can practically write on and on about anything, regardless if they make sense or not. In fact, everyone from my faculty can actually write blog posts that are worth kilometers of down-scrolling. However, I did get my medications so I am able to suppress those writing urges for another year or so. *cries*

MUST.... STOP..... WRITING......

Now, if you have been paying attention, you would already realise that I have written nothing about 'Sagacity', which is the title of this post and blog. If you had not realised that, it is clear for me and my pet hamster that you are lacking in analytical skills and you may have ADHD. ... Well, in your defense, if you had ADHD you wouldn't even make it to this paragraph. 

Well then, what is 'Sagacity'? By now you should already have Google'd the word, or you are still waiting for the definition from me. If it was the latter, you are currently piling up stress on the shoulders of us language students/practitioners by thinking that we know everything regarding English. Which is logically false. If i knew everything about English i would probably be a millionaire and have no time writing posts like this. And since all of us dream of becoming rich and all, sagacity would pretty much be a very important attribute in our daily lives.

Because 'Sagacity' is 'Wisdom'.
And you can go nowhere without it.

So from today onward, through a casual writing style, I will be sharing my Personal Sagacity with all of you, in an attempt to cultivate a healthy reading habit and improve our general command of English so that we can all reach 'Jannah', together InsyaAllah. 

Peace Out.

P/s: While attaining Jannah is cool and all, you could really help me out by pressing that "FOLLOW" button up there. Thanks. ;P Keep Smiling!